Lessons From The Family

My grandfather, Darrel Duggins, and my grandmother, Ilsa Roosberg, were married on June 13, 1962. They had 7 kids--3 girls and 4 boys. My mother, Louise Duggins, was the first of the seven.
My mom and father were married in early December and out of this Union 3 kids were born--Michael, N'kili (Me), and Kareem.

When I think of culture I think art, dress, traditions, tangible objects or behaviors—things that you can see that are obviously different from others.  What’s interesting though is that much of culture is actually invisible.

Much of our learning of culture occurs subconsciously. We are rarely aware of the cultural messages we receive. They are so subtle that we hardly notice these messages and lessons coming in or acted out. Most of the time it takes exposure to another culture to realize what has occurred. For example people on my island are extremely nosey. Which probably makes me nosey too but I hadn’t realized that until I started living in the United States. I remember during my freshman year of college I was sitting in my room with my roommate and her friends. At that time, my roommate’s friends and I had been mere acquaintances. They were talking and you could say I was eavesdropping but in my mind I was a part of the conversation. Why else would they speak so loudly if they didn’t want me to hear? The conversation changed to gossip. They were talking about someone and I had missed their name. It was really juicy and they had gotten really animated. I really wanted to know who they were talking about so reflexively I blurted out, “who are you talking about?” They looked at me strangely, like they had forgotten I was in the room and like it wasn’t any of my business. I guess it wasn’t but back on my island I wouldn’t have gotten such a reaction regardless if they were acquaintances or friends.

Globalization, in terms of family, has its advantages, such as creating job opportunities and an increase in cultural awareness and it also has its draw backs. Workers leave their families and move from one country to another in order to seek jobs or higher pay in order to support their families. This in return changes family structure and dynamics. Stress is placed on parents, children, and other family members. And in some cases families are split up due to parents not being legal citizens leaving children behind. 

On my island I have seen globalization in action. With the creation of our oil terminals, men from different parts of the world were hired. With the extra men on the island a whore house (we call it the Nest) was established. Women from different countries were hired to work there. The local men were also participating at The Nest. It got so in depth that many local men left their wives to pursue relationships with these women. As a result their families were broken up. However, there was some good that came out of it. Many of the women working at the Nest had left their families behind.  The men that left their wives married the women and  this provided  them with the means  to bring their families to the island. 

When parents adopt a child trans-culturally, assimilation into the new culture is necessary. I believe that will occur without much conscious effort. It is the parent’s responsibility to ensure that the child has contact and knowledge of his or her birth culture. Children of trans-cultural adoptions tend to either feel “separate from” or “apart of.”  Without a connection to their own roots these kids may feel separate from families or friends that look different than they do.  They may also feel separate from people who look like they do and share’s their cultural background but who they ultimately feel no connection to because of their lack of knowledge and contact with their own culture. Parents, who ensure that their child has contact and knowledge of his or her culture helps them develop a sense of identity.