My aunt once told me that during the month of July in 1992, she was walking in Brooklyn, New York and stopped to check the books of a black vendor that was selling African books. One of the books was about a little black girl from Nigeria of the IBO tribe, and her name was Nkili. The book revealed that meaning of the name was “my skin is beautiful”. When my Aunt explained the meaning of the name to my family it was unanimously decided that, N’kili would be my name. I’ve never come across anyone with my name and I’ve always took pleasure in that fact. It made me feel special. In a class where there would be many Deshanees or Michaels or countless variations thereof. I was the only N’kili. Though, that usually came and still comes with me having to hear many variants of my name and constantly having to correct mispronunciations. In any such case it usually ends with me saying, “N’kili…but you can call me Kelly.”
I’ve been called Kelly for as long as I can remember. Most people at home know me as such. My friends, my family they all call me Kelly. In fact, I mostly hear them call me N’kili when I’m in trouble, being yelled at, or being called for. “Kelly” is the name I share with people when I see them struggling to pronounce my given name, N’kili. Its usually the name I share first when introducing myself to someone I know I probably will never see again or that will never get to know the real me. Why exert the energy of instructing someone how to pronounce my name when I know they probably won’t use it again.
My name Kelly has left me with no shortage of pet names. I have been affectionately called Kel, Kellbell, Kellchy, Kelchy-ann and Kelly-ann. Interesting variations of N’kili such as Kili, and Nikibell has also been used by close friends and family.
As a teacher its extremely important to learn the names of your students. Names are a part of one's identity and by leaving that vital part out you are essentially leaving out part of the individual. Names help create bonds and bonds are obviously important to create an ideal learning environment.
I knows what is like for a teacher to mispronounce your name. I know how frustrating it can be. It’s very satisfying when teachers put in the effort to learn your name no matter how embarrassing it may initially be for them. I remember dropping by my professor’s office one afternoon to ask him a question and before I could even ask my question he asked my how I pronounced my name I told him and then I listened to him struggle to do so. I felt sorry for him so I stated, “you can just call me Kelly.” He looked at me, smiled, and said, “that’s not your real name I want to learn how to pronounce your name. I think it’s beautiful.” Him saying that pretty much brightened my entire week. He was making an effort. It showed that he cared and that he wanted to get to know me—the real me.
Teachers should get to know their students. They should refrain from making assumptions. It’s important to ask questions no matter how simple to avoid misunderstandings. Everyone has probably acted in ignorance at one time or the other. It’s something we’ve all experienced. Though ignorance may “prevent people from behaving according to the highest order of integrity, honor, knowledge, and wisdom,” It can still be educated.
