Lessons From The Family

My grandfather, Darrel Duggins, and my grandmother, Ilsa Roosberg, were married on June 13, 1962. They had 7 kids--3 girls and 4 boys. My mother, Louise Duggins, was the first of the seven.
My mom and father were married in early December and out of this Union 3 kids were born--Michael, N'kili (Me), and Kareem.

When I think of culture I think art, dress, traditions, tangible objects or behaviors—things that you can see that are obviously different from others.  What’s interesting though is that much of culture is actually invisible.

Much of our learning of culture occurs subconsciously. We are rarely aware of the cultural messages we receive. They are so subtle that we hardly notice these messages and lessons coming in or acted out. Most of the time it takes exposure to another culture to realize what has occurred. For example people on my island are extremely nosey. Which probably makes me nosey too but I hadn’t realized that until I started living in the United States. I remember during my freshman year of college I was sitting in my room with my roommate and her friends. At that time, my roommate’s friends and I had been mere acquaintances. They were talking and you could say I was eavesdropping but in my mind I was a part of the conversation. Why else would they speak so loudly if they didn’t want me to hear? The conversation changed to gossip. They were talking about someone and I had missed their name. It was really juicy and they had gotten really animated. I really wanted to know who they were talking about so reflexively I blurted out, “who are you talking about?” They looked at me strangely, like they had forgotten I was in the room and like it wasn’t any of my business. I guess it wasn’t but back on my island I wouldn’t have gotten such a reaction regardless if they were acquaintances or friends.

Globalization, in terms of family, has its advantages, such as creating job opportunities and an increase in cultural awareness and it also has its draw backs. Workers leave their families and move from one country to another in order to seek jobs or higher pay in order to support their families. This in return changes family structure and dynamics. Stress is placed on parents, children, and other family members. And in some cases families are split up due to parents not being legal citizens leaving children behind. 

On my island I have seen globalization in action. With the creation of our oil terminals, men from different parts of the world were hired. With the extra men on the island a whore house (we call it the Nest) was established. Women from different countries were hired to work there. The local men were also participating at The Nest. It got so in depth that many local men left their wives to pursue relationships with these women. As a result their families were broken up. However, there was some good that came out of it. Many of the women working at the Nest had left their families behind.  The men that left their wives married the women and  this provided  them with the means  to bring their families to the island. 

When parents adopt a child trans-culturally, assimilation into the new culture is necessary. I believe that will occur without much conscious effort. It is the parent’s responsibility to ensure that the child has contact and knowledge of his or her birth culture. Children of trans-cultural adoptions tend to either feel “separate from” or “apart of.”  Without a connection to their own roots these kids may feel separate from families or friends that look different than they do.  They may also feel separate from people who look like they do and share’s their cultural background but who they ultimately feel no connection to because of their lack of knowledge and contact with their own culture. Parents, who ensure that their child has contact and knowledge of his or her culture helps them develop a sense of identity. 

The Nature of Cultural Identity

I was born on the island of St. Maarten. The place known for its French and Dutch Nationalities as well as being THE best place to be  blown away by airplanes. Literally. 

When I was 2 years old my maternal grandfather died. As a result my family relocated to St. Eustatius so my mom could run the family business and that's where I've lived  for most of my life. St. Eustatius, most people have never heard of it and with  good reason.  With an estimated population of only 3500-4000 people and an area of roughly 11 square miles we're a really small island. 

St. Eustatius, affectionately known as Statia,  is a special municipality of the Netherlands. So there are Dutch influences on our islands culture such as language--Dutch is our official language--and customs.  The American, Surinamese, Guyanese, and Dominican Republic influences also make for an interesting cultural mix. 

Family is pretty big here. Like really big. Its not just the nuclear family. When we say family we’re referring  to  grandmothers, grandfathers, (great) uncles and (great) aunts, and cousins that are more like siblings than anything else. And that doesn't begin to cover the endless uncles and aunts that aren't really uncles and aunts but are really close family friends that you’ve grown up with. On Statia there is no such thing as an extended family it’s just family. So you can imagine I grew up in a full house. When my aunt got married and moved out she built a house directly across from us. She basically lives in our back yard. So does my great uncle by the way. Currently most of my aunts and uncles live on neighboring islands. With my brother and I away for school its a pretty empty house. But every Christmas we all travel back home to Statia and we spend the holiday together. Its one of my favorite traditions, seeing family members that I haven't seen for the entire year. 

I graduated from high school in 2010. I chose to further my education in the U.S. Studying in the United States, for 4 years, has been quite the experience especially considering where I come from— a very small island to a big country. Luckily attending Andrews University with it’s small and tight-knit community reminded me of back home. However, I still had to adjust. For example, on my island walking into a room or passing someone on the road and not greeting them is the ultimate sin. Even if you see them 50 times a day, which is highly probable considering how small the island is, you need to acknowledge them each time. Lets just say I caught on very quickly that doing so while living here makes me seem kind of crazy, if some of the looks I’ve gotten are anything go by. Studying at Andrews University has taught me more to be culturally aware. It’s made me more independent something that I never really experienced at home. 

I have many Identities. I am a Statian. I am Dutch. I am a Gumbs (my father’s surname) and a Duggins (my mother’s surname). The name Duggins carries a big weight on Statia. My family’s business, Duggins Shopping Center is the largest grocery and department store on the island. On the island, If on the odd chance I have to explain myself to someone who may not know me, I just tell them my mother’s last name and they automatically know who I am. I guess in a way a large part of my Identity lies within my Family.  

What is Cultural Identity? Well to put it simply cultural Identity is the culture you identify with. It’s your membership in a group and it’s just one of your many Identities. It’s formed through communication. It’s something that’s learnt. A rigid adherence to the culture of our youth is not feasible. Culture itself is always changing, so I believe cultural identity in its pure from is not possible.  Much of our learning of culture is done subconsciously. So its likely that we wont be aware of certain shifts within our cultural identity until it has already occurred and sometimes we’re not aware even then.

The United States is becoming a “minority majority” nation. Because of this the United States’ dominant cultural values and those of minorities will integrate. 

Someone watching The Big Bang Theory may conclude that the United States is a diverse country and the people, though accepting, may be ignorant and sometimes a bit racist.  

 Based on lustig & Koester’s Stages in the development of cultural identity I believe I have Achieved my Cultural Identity. I know what it means to be a Statian. I am proud of who I am.